


Time after time

by innerfangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Big Brother Dean, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Light Angst, M/M, Off-screen death, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Sibling Love, Time Travel, Tumblr Prompt, Young Sam Winchester, drama nerd Sam Winchester, mark of cain implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 15:49:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3734542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innerfangirl/pseuds/innerfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam had just turned ten when it started, Dean's visits.<br/>Dean would always visit Sam as Sam got older, but Dean's age rarely changed. He was forever 35 when he visited and always seemed guilty about something. </p><p>For itsokaysammy's AU idea "As Cain predicted, Sam is killed by Dean’s hands under the influence of the Mark of Cain. Dean tries to cope with his actions by visiting Sam in different time periods where he tries be there for his brother at times he felt he was not. Sam never tells Dean about these visits."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Begining

Sammy had just turned five when it started.

He had been staying in a small town like usual, staying the longest they had been in a while. Dean had been enrolled in school while John worked a job, but it was decided that a kindergartner attending for only a few days- at most a few weeks- would be too suspicious. Instead he stayed in the motel room all day and was getting stir-crazy.

John was passed out on the couch, TV showing infomercials, having to work late the night before and heading out again the next night. Dean had headed out hours earlier for school despite protesting that he wanted to stay and hear how the job went.

Sammy privately thought that wanting to know a salesman's day was boring, but he kept the thought to himself to avoid Dean's frown and John's avoidance.

He was coloring in an elephant, making it pink with blue spots so it would match the tree outside the window. A commercial on TV had a man with a twangy accent promoting a car service and Sammy was tempted to turn it off.

As he was debating whether or not to steal the remote from John's hand, risking the chance of John waking up and becoming angry, Sammy's stomach rumbled.

He looked at the clock between the beds and tried to remember what the long hand stood for vs the short hand. He stared at it long enough to decide he was too hungry to care about the time and jumped the distance from the chair to the floor and walked to the bedside table to grab a handful of change outside of the ash tray.

Dean always made sure that the money was close enough either of them could get money if necessary. He always made Sammy promise not to touch it for anything other than food or emergencies and Sammy counted this as both.

The door was difficult to open, but Sammy stood on a chair to unlock it and then concentrated on turning the handle. He walked out of the room and down the adjacent stairs. There was a vending machine behind the front office that Dean had taken him to to get dinner the night before.

Sammy was almost there when a woman with sharp pink nails walked out of a room and pushed him up against a wall. "So, you're Azazel's little golden boy? Huh, I always thought you would be, you know, taller." She laughed as if she had said something hilarious and Sammy tried to wriggle out of her grasp. "Oh, no. I caught you and you ain't goin' free until the king pays the ransom."

"I don't know Az-az-al." Sammy said, struggling to pronounce the name that would not stick in his head. The woman just laughed again, hand tightening around his throat. He struggled to escape but knew she would be stronger.

Black spots appeared before his eyes and he wondered what that meant. He would ask Dean when he saw him again.

Then air rushed through him, the spots fading as the world spun. He was aware of falling to his hands and knees, gasping for air. A fight was happening beside him, but Sammy was too busy trying to focus on testing to see how much air he could take into his lungs. When he was finished he looked up to see a somehow familiar face.

A man with Dean's face was looking at him worriedly, calling out his name as another man in a trench coat observed with a similar worried expression.

"Sammy!" Sammy turned to the voice and recognized it as his older brother's.

"Dean?" He asked, tilting his head in consideration. "Dean, you got old."

Old-Dean laughed in the way John sometimes did when talking about Mamma. Sammy didn't like that laugh.

He reached out a hand and tapped Old-Dean's nose, yanking his fist away after he did so. "Got your nose; can't be sad with no nose." Sammy said, grinning. Old-Dean made the bad laugh again and grabbed Sammy's hand to kiss the tiny fist.

"I'm not sad, baby brother. I'm happy. I haven't seen you in a while and I've missed you, that's all." Old-Dean said. Sammy frowned confused.

"You saw me this morning. You went to school and I waved." Sammy informed him. Old-Dean nodded, kissing his fist again.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

Sammy nodded, understanding. He grinned again and leaned forward to wrap his hands around his brother's neck. "You silly." He kissed his brother's cheek and laughed lightly.

Old-Dean's hands tightened around his younger brother, gripping tight enough for Sammy to let out a protesting whine and the man in the trench coat gave a warning "Dean."

The grip released instantly and Old-Dean slowly let him go. "You should get back to the room; I have to go back to school. Come on." He stood up and Sammy grabbed his hand, looking up to Old-Dean with a questioning face when the man froze. "Sorry, baby brother. Let's get you up to the room."

They both walked up stairs and to the motel door. Old-Dean opened the door for him and watched him walk in before squatting to make eye-contact again. "Lock the door, okay? You need to stay safe, Sammy." Sammy nodded, darting forward to kiss his brother's cheek again.

"Love you." Sammy whispered.

"L-love you too, Sammy. Love you too." Old-Dean whispered back. He hugged him tightly before letting him go and standing up. "And hey, Sammy, you seeing me will be our secret, okay? Dad will get mad if he knows I skipped school and if anyone knew I was older it might ruin my reputation. So, no mentioning seeing me to me or to anyone else. Promise?"

"Promise." Sammy agreed, nodding seriously. He did not really understand the importance- or the meaning of some of the words for that matter- but he figured it was a big kid thing and nodded. He didn't want to be called a baby again.

"Alright." Old-Dean hesitated but then turned around and waved at him slightly. "Bye, Sammy." Sammy waved back happily.

It was only when he closed and locked the door that he realized he didn't grab the food from the machine. He was about to leave the room again when the smell of chicken fingers wafted over from the table. Sammy turned around and saw the man with the trench coat looking at him with food in hand.

"I'm sorry, Sam." He set the food down and Sammy turned toward it before looking back to say thank you.

The man had disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sam was eight, older Dean visited again.

It was humid enough to make being outside unpleasant, but Sam had stayed after Dean had left school. He was going to be acting in the school's modern production of  _Much Ado about Nothing_  next week and had stayed for the drama club meeting.

Walking into the room, though, he had seen Dean leaning into one of the cheerleaders and had resigned himself to walking home. Suzie Mills had instantly disagreed when she found out and spent the rest of the meeting trying to convince him to let her mom drive him home. She had even pulled him out to her car, and her mother was leaning out of the car to talk to them both.

He was giving her the usual excuse of his dad being just around the corner when a figure he recognized appeared across the street. He was dressed in a leather jacket and looked a little older, but was mostly the same.

"Uh, actually I just saw my brother. He must have come back instead of Dad." Sam said to Suzie and her mother, gesturing to where the figure stood. "Thank you for offering, though. See you Monday, Suzie!" He waved before either could say anything else and quickly jogged across the street to him. Sam stopped in front of the man and looked through his bangs to him. "So, you are real."

"I'm your brother. Of course I'm real. You're older than I expected though." Dean said, he ruffled Sam's hair and Sam ducked his head to attempt to get away. It didn't work. "You hungry, Sammy?"

"Don't call me Sammy." Sam complained, but nodded all the same to the question. Dean smirked and gently gestured for Sammy to walk beside him. Sam followed him, shoving his hands into his coat's pockets. "You know, I should probably check you- silver, holy water, all that." Dean winced slightly and smiled tightly at Sam.

"You know about the monsters in the closet now?"

Sam nodded. "You told me three Christmases ago. Kind of wish I had listened to you and stopped asking about it though. Knowing about the monsters just making it that much more difficult when you and John leave."

Dean hummed, lightly flicking Sam's ear. "Don't call him that. Dad deserves some respect from us. He's doing the best he can with us." Sam gave him a unbelieving look. "I'm serious. It's difficult to raise a kid and be a hunter. Being a hunter sucks."

Sam doubted it but dropped the subject. They walked in silence for a few minutes, leaves and pollen falling around them and sticking to their hair and jackets. Sam chased a piece of pollen through the air with his eyes and wondered what it would be like to be able to fly like pollen. He snapped out of it when Dean steered him again, this time toward a warehouse with a cutout of a coffee cup and sign reading "Just like Home". A red light sign flickered that the place was open.

"Best bacon cheeseburger in the northwest here." Dean commented. He grabbed the door and held it as Sam walked into the refreshingly air conditioned building. Dean gestured to the woman behind the counter there were two and she slid of a stool to pull them over to a table in the back corner. Sam could hear the faint traces of a commercial for a car service hosted by a man with a painful southern accent.

"So, why did you visit today?" Sam said, he kicked his feet under the chair and blinked at his older, older brother.

"Cas decided it was a good time to visit." Dean said. A boy in ripped jeans and a white polo came over and wrote down the order of coffee and hot chocolate Dean ordered. Once he was gone Dean turned back to see Sam looking at him puzzled.

"Who's Cas?" Sam asked. "Is he a friend of Uncle Bobby?"

Dean gave a long look before looking away and shaking his head. "Nah. He's just a friend of our from the future. You'll like him eventually, in fact it's you who convinced me to give Cas a second chance… several second chances actually."

Sam thought this over for a minute, letting the boy come back with their drinks before continuing. "Could he bring you back next week? I'm in a play next week. You... well younger you, said that John wouldn't be able to come. He said he may not even be able to make it. Could you make it, though?"

He regretted asking the question almost instantly. Dean's smile became sad and Sam knew that the answer wouldn't be what he said. "I don't know, Sammy. He decides what is going to happen and he doesn't like the thought if I visit you twice in one year, let alone the same month."

"Why?"

"Time-space continuum and all that. He knows all the science of it." Dean shrugged. Sam hummed.

"So, what am I like in the future?" Sam asked. Dean shrugged, frowning a little in consideration.

"You get a little taller." Sam grinned. He wanted to be as tall as Dean was, as tall as John. Dean couldn't make short jokes if they were the same height. They may even let him go on hunts with them.

"Do I get as tall as you?" Dean smirked.

"Not quite, but you get close." Sam pouted for a moment before asking another question.

"Do I get to hunt with you and John?" Sam asked. Dean hesitated before nodding.

"Yeah. Yeah, you get to come hunting. Maybe you shouldn't do that this time around. Hunting isn't something you enjoy." Dean said. There was a pause before he changed the subject. "What play are you doing next week?  _Oklahoma_  is not for a few more years."

" _Oklahoma_?" Sam asked, a grin back on his face. That meant he had been good in the play, that meant he was close to going pro. "I get to do  _Oklahoma_?" He celebrated his victory with one more crow and gulp of his drink like John did after a job. Whipped cream clung to his face and he quickly wiped it away with a sleeve. "Next week is  _Much Ado about Nothing_. Our teacher created a modern version for us. All the characters have jobs like around town and we get to say regular things instead of things like thou and thee. It's really cool."

"It sounds cool. I'll see if I can come. I can take pictures and every time you get on stage yell really loud. You get out there and I'll shout  _'That's my baby!'_  just like that one family in New York at the graduation."

Sam smiled, forehead wrinkling though. He tried to remember being in New York, but could only remember a short trip of when they got lost in Pennsylvania and ended up on a one way highway trying to find a place without cop cars to turn around. He didn't say anything though, not wanting to see another sad smile after Dean was just starting to grin again.

He smoothed out his forehead and just laughed at the imagined picture.

"Do I go to college? I think I want to go to college. Mrs. Watson was talking about keeping grade up so I can get into college this morning and I think college sounds fun. In four years you get to learn enough to be an expert in something! I think I want to become an actor. Is there a college to become an actor?"

Dean smiled at him. "I'm sure there is one somewhere. You do go you college though, go for all four years and leave thinking you were a master. You tried to use it in every conversation you had for a while." He grinned. "But, you want to know a secret? You don't go to acting college. You go somewhere much more exciting."

Sam leaned forward, elbows falling excitedly on the table. "Where do I go? Is it an Flower League?"

"Ivy League, and I can't tell you that. If I told you it would ruin the surprise. Just know that you'll have a lot of fun." Dean said. He glanced at the finished drinks and rose, putting a few dollars on the table. "Come on, Sammy. We need to get you back to the room. You're going to be looked for." Sam stood up, once again pointing out that his name was Sam not Sammy. Sammy was a baby name.

They walked out of the cafe and Sam led the way toward the latest motel. "How does Cas decide when you visit? Is it some mystical equation or a roll of a die?" Sam was secretly proud of being able to say the word die correctly. He had just learned the definition after watching a game show the night before and had finally figured a reason to use the word.

Dean smirked like he knew Sam had slipped the word in to show off. Sam ignored the look and adjusted his backpack subtly.

"Well?" Sam demanded.

Dean ruffled his hair again, ignoring the resulting head bob away. "Cas is Cas. He just knows when will be best to visit. I can ask about possibly seeing you next week, he may let it. Cas is a good guy." He trailed off with a small smile and Sam resisted the urge to tease him. They were in front of the motel now, all Sam had to do was walk up the stairs to the room.

"Huh." Sam said. He paused before hesitantly stating, "Dean, there has to be a reason you keep time-traveling to see me." Dean's pace stumbled.

They stopped walking and Sam squinted against the sudden brightness in his eyes. Dean looked down at him and grabbed Sam's chin. He gave a slight smile that vanished as sudden as it appeared. "I just wanted to check up on you, Sammy."

Both of them knew the other knew it was not the truth, but neither called the other out on it. "Bye, Dean." Sam said, he hesitated before darting forward to hug his brother quickly before walking back to the room.

On the stairs, Sam looked back to see Dean standing where he left him, this time holding the hand of the man in the trench coat. Dean raised the hand not held and gave a slight wave which Sam returned. He turned back to the stairs and walked all the way up.

Before he could reach the door, it opened and his older brother walked out. Relief passed over his face when he saw Sam standing there.

"Where have you been, Sammy?" He asked, annoyance in his voice obviously not real. Sam shrugged, rattling off an excuse about drama club running late and having to rehearse his few lines before being able to go. Dean smirked at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder to pull him inside. "You really like acting then, huh?"

Sam nodded, his cheeks hurting from a sudden grin. "I'm gonna be in  _Oklahoma_." His older brother laughed, squeezing his shoulder gently.

"Of course you are, kid. You got talent. You're going to go far." Dean said. He whispered the rest so softly Sam almost didn't hear. "You're gonna get away." 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys and gals and all in between. I am sorry to announce that this is the last chapter. Life has gotten in a way- darn you social norms!- and I am not going to be able to continue this as I should. I hope you enjoy this last chapter and the story was at least a little like the story you imagined from the tumblr post. 
> 
> Stay amazing, my friends!

**13 years old**

Sam slid the key into the lock and checked around before slipping into the motel room. He quickly locked it behind him, grabbing a packet of salt from his pocket and lining the doorway where the door had moved it. 

The motel room was just another copy of all of the other rooms they had stayed in and Sam was sick of the pattern. The same faulty oven and microwave, the same fridge that never seemed to actually be cold. Two beds smelling of generic soap and bleach that was stronger in the bathroom. The first night after Dean and John went hunting there had been an middle-aged couple that were obviously there without their spouses knowledge. They had stayed active until the sunrise and Sammy had been forced to hear it- despite earphones blasting  _ACDC_ \- and wince with every slam rattle of the shared wall. 

Since then it had been blissfully quiet and Sammy was happy for the change. Unfortunately, though, the silence had given him plenty of time to think about why he had been left alone during the latest hunt. John had left him so that Sam would attend school and had dragged Dean along since apparently once you turned 17 school was no longer important. 

Sam was determined to be headed to college with a scholarship by then. 

And there was the problem- John would never let Sam go to college and they all knew it. So Sam had skipped two grades, the first in elementary school and the second during 6th grade. Neither Dean nor John knew about it, both of them still thinking that he was attending the middle school down the street during their hunt. They didn't realize that his high school classes had ended almost two weeks prior and instead he was spending the day watching soap operas and keeping out of sight of the motel's manager. 

He felt slightly guilty about that, but not enough to change. The manager was a nice man and he actually seemed to care about people, but in Sam's case he needed a little less concern as the manager had almost called Child Protective Services the first day. If it wasn't for Dean coming back for extra holy water, Sam would be at a home and he could just imagine John's reaction to that.

Sam sighed and set the thin plastic bags of groceries he had just bought on the wobbly table and started to unpack. Dean had taught him how to make the money and supplies stretch and what products to buy that would best do both. Cereal, protein bars, containers of juice all went on the counter, a small jug of milk went in the fridge and the containers of mac 'n cheese stayed in the bags. It would be easier to move once Dean and John returned. 

Once everything was situated he turned around to see the man in the trench coat appearing in the middle of the room, and Sam grabbed the pocket-knife soaked in holy water and in his jacket's pocket. The man held up both of his hands as if in surrender, but Sam remembered the possessed teacher who had gotten too close for comfort two months ago. She had managed to catch him off guard and it had seemed like they were having a normal conversation before he had started chocking him. That had been the first day he had carried the pocket-knife and he hadn't left it behind since. 

"Sam." Trench coat greeted. "Dean is outside, but he thought it was best to warn you that we were coming." His job apparently done, he vanished before appearing again with the older Dean. 

Dean looked worse for wear- more lines etched in his skin and a newly forming scar along his chin. Sam felt a pang of worry and had to remember the Dean that had left weeks ago without scars and a smirk on his face. He had been talking about the girl he had been out with the night before and full of bravado as they left. That Dean was okay, he lived through the hunt. 

"Hey, Sammy." He even sounded tired. For once Sam didn't correct his brother, instead pushing a chair at him and reaching into a bag for one of the mac 'n cheese containers. They looked hungry and Sam knew that when you had food you shared it with family. Dean looked like he was about to say something, but quickly shut his mouth. Instead he reached into his pocket and grabbed a messily wrapped package, sliding it over the counter to Sam. "Happy birthday, Shortie."

Sam frowned. "One day I am going to be taller. I've been reading about different ways of making yourself grow- did you know that you grow taller when you sleep? That's why your so tall, whenever you're home you sleep most of the time."  He said. The packets was ready to be eaten and Sam handed one to Dean and the other to Trench coat. 

"Eat it, Cas." Dean muttered to the man before he could say something. Sam looked between them before shrugging, it wasn't important. "Go on, then. Open your present."

Sam did, fingers trembling slightly in his eagerness. "I thought I was going to celebrate my birthday alone. You and Jo-Dad," he he quickly corrected when he remembered what Dean had said the last time, "are on a hunt." 

"Trust me, I wanted to be here. Now I am here to keep you company- better late than never." Dean did that sad frown-smile and quickly changed subjects. "How was school? It doesn't end for a few weeks, right?" Sam hesitated before looking at his brother through his bangs. 

"The high school finished weeks ago. I'm in high school now." Dean looked confused and Sam rushed to explain. "I skipped fourth and sixth grade, I just finished freshman year. Did I not tell you once I had finished school?" It was nice to tell Dean the secret- he had been wanting to for years but never got the courage. He briefly thought that him not telling Dean once school had finished was strange but was not going to mention that. 

Dean stared at him in surprise before grinning. "Damn, Genius. That explains a lot actually." Sam grinned back. "Nah, though, you didn't tell anyone that. After your graduation there's a fight so we don't really talk about how you got there. I know you graduated early, but didn't realize that you had skipped grades- just thought you got your credits done early. You were always talking about some class you were in." Sam laughed and looked down to see a book on pre-law in the middle of the paper. He grinned. He had taken a pre-law class the previous semester online and he had become fascinated. 

"Thanks!" He said looking back up at Dean. "I think I want to be a lawyer. I like law and since you and J-Dad are always getting into trouble with the police having a lawyer in the family would help!" 

Dean gave him a surprised look. "That's why-," but Cas cut him off by putting a hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean looked up and they shared a look before both looking ruefully at Sam. 

Sam sighed. He knew that look. 

"It's okay." Sam said- stopping the apology he knew was coming. "I'll see you later, right? If you have to go, you have to go. It was nice enough that I was able to see you at all." He gave a lop-sided grin and Dean's smile in response told him he wasn't buying it. 

"Okay, Sammy. I'll see you later." He stood up and walked to Cas.

"Love you!" Sam interjected quickly. His Dean would make fun of him for saying something like that, but older Dean looked like he needed it. Dean whispered the words back as they disappeared back into the future. He sighed and picked up the two now empty containers and threw them away. It was nice to see them, even if Cas didn't really talk and Dean always looked a little sad and tired. 

Sam paused when he looked at the table again, somehow both surprised and not to see a take-out bowl of chicken salad sitting there. The cover was gathering water droplets as the chicken had obviously was freshly cooked. He smiled and mentally thanked Cas. He was nice, even if he was a bit strange.

 

**20 years old**

"Would you support me if I dropped out of school and became a hobo? We could ride the trains and see the world- getting odd jobs here and there. You could random cases and I could be your trophy wife of a hobo. What do you say?" Jess asked, head falling on her open anatomy book on the table. Sam grinned at her dramatics and played along.

"Sure. We would have to be middle train car people, though. Not one of those back train people. After all social status is very important in the train car lifestyle." He said. Jess nodded in agreement. "How about we think this through further over lunch? I am starving and I'm fairly certain if I have to see or hear another judge's name dropped I will scream."

Jess smirked. "Oh, really? Thurgood Marshall?" Sam let out a small scream that had people around them glaring and hushing them. Jess laughed and shoved her books in her bag, grabbing Sam's hand and dragging him out with her. When they got outside, both looked at each other and started laughing. "One day, they are going to ban us. Not a library my ass." 

Sam shook his head fondly before pausing. Across the street Dean and Cas were standing in front of a cafe, Dean raising a hand in greeting. "Hey, you want to meet my brother?" Jess stared at him, mouth agape. "You're going to catch flies." She clicked her mouth shut but her surprise was still present. Sam understood why. He had never talked about his family beyond the fact that they didn't talk anymore because of a fight. He mentioned stories every now and then, most featuring Dean and leaving out John, but mostly his family past was not talked about.

Finally Jess gained enough control to nod silently. "Yeah," she breathed. She followed where Sam had been looking and saw the two men. "I'm going to guess the one in the coat isn't your brother?" Sam nodded and Jess grinned. "I am going to hear so many stories about you." She jogged across the street, pulling a stunned Dean into a hug. Sam checked for traffic before following and stopped beside them. "You must been Dean! I have to ask you, was Sam always so tall? 'Cause I kind of feel like he was born a giant but Sam won't tell me."

"Uh, he used to be short." Dean said, recovering fast. "Sammy used to be real short but then he shot up one night. Scared our dad the first time he saw the height difference." Jess's grin faltered slightly but she quickly brushed it off. 

"I never thought I'd see you at Stanford." Sam confessed. Dean gave a sad nod.

"I can't stay long, but I wanted to stop by. Congrats, you got to college, Genius." He said. He pulled Sam into a hug and it seemed like he was saying goodbye. 

Suddenly Cas darted forward, his eyes flickering back and forth as he started tapping his finger. "Dean." He said, his voice harsh and worried. Sam's brother glanced at him, desperation on his face, but Cas only shook his head. 

Dean turned back and pulled both Jess and Sam into a hug. "I have to go, turns out we had less time than I thought. Take care, okay?" Sam nodded, sharing a confused look with Jess. "Sammy, I don't think I'll be able to make it back as too many different things coming to attention now. I love you, little brother." 

"I love you too." Sam said. Dean gave him a tight nod and turned to walk away with Cas. Sam stepped forward and grabbed Dean's arm. "Whatever happened, whatever it was, it wasn't your fault." Dean looked away and Sam could see he was fighting back tears. They walked away, Dean glancing back several times with each turn looking sadder than the first. They turned a corner and Sam knew they had gone back to their time. He looked at  Jess who seemed bemused.

"Sam, know that I love you, but your brother and his partner are strange." She announced. Sam smiled and pulled her into a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She looked up and he kissed her again on the lips. 

"I love you too." He paused before pushing away his sadness. "Now, where do you want to go to lunch?"

 


End file.
